Clinic Patient
A middle aged man with a cane walked into the exam room,
where I sat waiting. He walked with a
heavy limp, as if his right leg was barely functional. The man wore no lab coat nor any aspects of
his appearance associated with doctors, so it was initially difficult to judge
whether he was an unkempt physician or a wandering stranger trespassing into a
closed medical examination room. The man
had a slovenly appearance; his chin full of unshaven stubble and his hair
uncombed. Instead of a lab coat, he wore
a blazer with a t-shirt underneath. On
his feet, he wore running shoes.
Upon entering the room, he curtly introduced himself to me as Dr. House. No other formalities or friendly exchanges were given. He seemed amused when he saw me, as if he knew some secret concerning myself. I then began to explain my symptoms. I was having back spasms, and at times I could hardly stand.
To my slight irritation, Dr. House began smiling, apparently amused at my suffering. Casually, he reached into his pocket and popped a few pills in his mouth, as if he was eating candy.
“Unfortunately, you have a deeper problem. You’re wife is having an affair.”
What!? I couldn’t believe my ears. How dare he accuse my wife of such activities? And furthermore, how could Dr. House come to such a bizarre conclusion?
“You’re orange you moron!”
I stared at my hands, trying to comprehend everything that was happening. Scrutinizing my hands, I realized that there was some truth in what the doctor said. Feeling extremely embarrassed, I looked to Dr. House for an explanation. But most importantly, I wanted to know how it related to my wife.
“It's one thing for you not to notice, but if your wife hasn't picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colors, she's just not paying attention.”
“By the way, do you consume just a ridiculous amount of carrots and megadose vitamins? Carrots turn you yellow, the niacin turns you red. Find some finger paint and do the math.”
Dr. House then left the room, apparently satisfied with his diagnosis and my humiliation.
Left alone in the exam room, I was confused, my mind in turmoil. I could not believe that I hadn’t noticed my own skin colour had turned orange! Furthermore, Dr. House gave no indication of respect for me, displaying no regard for the doctor – patient relationship. I was furious at the way he mocked me, showing no compassion or sympathy as one would expect from a doctor. Worst of all was the possibility that his deductions were correct. The thought that my beloved wife might be having an affair frightened me.
Upon entering the room, he curtly introduced himself to me as Dr. House. No other formalities or friendly exchanges were given. He seemed amused when he saw me, as if he knew some secret concerning myself. I then began to explain my symptoms. I was having back spasms, and at times I could hardly stand.
To my slight irritation, Dr. House began smiling, apparently amused at my suffering. Casually, he reached into his pocket and popped a few pills in his mouth, as if he was eating candy.
“Unfortunately, you have a deeper problem. You’re wife is having an affair.”
What!? I couldn’t believe my ears. How dare he accuse my wife of such activities? And furthermore, how could Dr. House come to such a bizarre conclusion?
“You’re orange you moron!”
I stared at my hands, trying to comprehend everything that was happening. Scrutinizing my hands, I realized that there was some truth in what the doctor said. Feeling extremely embarrassed, I looked to Dr. House for an explanation. But most importantly, I wanted to know how it related to my wife.
“It's one thing for you not to notice, but if your wife hasn't picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colors, she's just not paying attention.”
“By the way, do you consume just a ridiculous amount of carrots and megadose vitamins? Carrots turn you yellow, the niacin turns you red. Find some finger paint and do the math.”
Dr. House then left the room, apparently satisfied with his diagnosis and my humiliation.
Left alone in the exam room, I was confused, my mind in turmoil. I could not believe that I hadn’t noticed my own skin colour had turned orange! Furthermore, Dr. House gave no indication of respect for me, displaying no regard for the doctor – patient relationship. I was furious at the way he mocked me, showing no compassion or sympathy as one would expect from a doctor. Worst of all was the possibility that his deductions were correct. The thought that my beloved wife might be having an affair frightened me.
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